Sex Rehab With Dr.Drew.

It's my blog and I can write about whatever asinine shit I want to.

I don't have a t.v. (long story involving a gun and a broken nose in the woods) but I do have the internets (obviously) so I get my fill of amazing crap programs (nearly) commercial free. I love Intervention, which lead me to Celebrity Rehab, which lead me to Sober house, and now Sex Rehab on VH1.com. Here is my vapid synopsis of the characters (no, I don't have anything better to do). Enjoy:

Jennifer Ketchum (aka Penny Flame) – Porn actress / Director / Business woman: Sad and sweet. She reminds me of girls I used to hang out with in middle school; sexually precocious party girls whose dads didn't pay enough attention to.

James “Jamie” Lovett – Surfer / Wakeboarder: Boring, run of the mill surfer bra. He seems brain addled, like he's done too many psychedelics.

Nicole Narain – Model / Playboy Playmate: Fucking stunning. Much more intelligent than she is credited for. Plus, she boned Colin Farrell. Get some self esteem.

Kari Ann Peniche – Beauty queen / Model / Fashion designer: Add moron and evil bratty bitch to that list. Never have I ever wanted to reach through the screen and slap the shit outta someone. What a little piece of shit whiner asshole self absorbed twat . She's from Gresham. And she was once engaged to Aaron Carter. That should tell you something. Idiot. Ugh.

Kendra Jade Rossi – Ex-porn star / Music manager: This bitch creeps me out. She seems sincere in her pain but like a psycho drama queen as well. I bet she is stunning without all the plastic shit in her face.

Duncan Roy - Producer / Writer / Director: Aww. Duncan. Such a nice English boy. I'd like to introduce him to Boy George.

Amber Smith – Supermodel/Reality TV star/Actress: Fell in love with her on Celebrity rehab. How can someone so self aware and intelligent be so fucked up? Her daily epiphanies blow me away. I would totally kick it with her. Lovely.

Phil Varone – Musician: Fuck yeah dude, drummer for Skid Row. Seemingly right up there with Amber; a genuine, intelligent guy. Seems honestly invested in the therapeutic process. I would like to see him with Amber. Heck, if he wasn't close to my dad's age I'd probably bone him.

Well, there you go.