Thursday, July 30, 2009

Motivation

July 30th, 2009

My lady parts are broken. For the past few years I have been dealing with various menstrual related maladies and was thought to have endometriosis (Google it), saw a naturopath and was put on a diet/supplement regimine and stuff got better. Then, as of late it has been getting worse. I gained a significant amount of weight, started feeling sluggish and depressed and my periods became fewer and excruciating when I did have them.

After a barrage of really invasive and emotional tests these last few weeks (including PAPs. an external AND internal ultrasound, a ridiculous amount of blood tests and various doc appointments) I have been diagnosed with what appears to be PCOS or Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. I don't have the energy to explain it so click this link if you want all the info: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polycystic_ovary_syndrome, which is causing some insulin resistance, crazy mood swings and other scary shit as well as having had an abnormal precancerous PAP, which I'm still in the process of resolving (I realize this is very common but it's never calming to hear).

My doctors have made it apparent that I need to drastically change my daily habits in order to balance my hormones, lose weight and generally feel better, as do most people, but I am at a high risk for developing type 2 diabetes, cancer, heart disease, infertility etc. Yay. I have a hard time motivating myself to get out of my bed sometimes and deal with the realities of my health (although I realize, all things considered, I am mostly in very good health otherwise and am thankful for this).

So there you have it. I am sick of not talking about what is happening with my body, hiding my intense fear, and not knowing how to ask for support. I could give a shit about this being too much info, inappropriate over-sharing, or otherwise. That's why people have blogs. It's a safe forum. I am choosing to take conscious control of my physical and mental well-being in a public way that forces me to be accountable for my healthful progress. Plus, I'm fuckin' freaked out and could use a few cheerleaders.

I plan on starting my new diet/exercise/supplement lifestyle on August 1st as it is one day after the anniversary of my sister's death in 2000, as a tribute to her, as she died at 26 the age I am now.
Bear with me. It's gonna be a long ride.
XO