July 30th, 2009
My lady parts are broken. For the past few years I have been dealing with various menstrual related maladies and was thought to have endometriosis (Google it), saw a naturopath and was put on a diet/supplement regimine and stuff got better. Then, as of late it has been getting worse. I gained a significant amount of weight, started feeling sluggish and depressed and my periods became fewer and excruciating when I did have them.
After a barrage of really invasive and emotional tests these last few weeks (including PAPs. an external AND internal ultrasound, a ridiculous amount of blood tests and various doc appointments) I have been diagnosed with what appears to be PCOS or Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. I don't have the energy to explain it so click this link if you want all the info: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polycystic_ovary_syndrome, which is causing some insulin resistance, crazy mood swings and other scary shit as well as having had an abnormal precancerous PAP, which I'm still in the process of resolving (I realize this is very common but it's never calming to hear).
My doctors have made it apparent that I need to drastically change my daily habits in order to balance my hormones, lose weight and generally feel better, as do most people, but I am at a high risk for developing type 2 diabetes, cancer, heart disease, infertility etc. Yay. I have a hard time motivating myself to get out of my bed sometimes and deal with the realities of my health (although I realize, all things considered, I am mostly in very good health otherwise and am thankful for this).
So there you have it. I am sick of not talking about what is happening with my body, hiding my intense fear, and not knowing how to ask for support. I could give a shit about this being too much info, inappropriate over-sharing, or otherwise. That's why people have blogs. It's a safe forum. I am choosing to take conscious control of my physical and mental well-being in a public way that forces me to be accountable for my healthful progress. Plus, I'm fuckin' freaked out and could use a few cheerleaders.
I plan on starting my new diet/exercise/supplement lifestyle on August 1st as it is one day after the anniversary of my sister's death in 2000, as a tribute to her, as she died at 26 the age I am now.
Bear with me. It's gonna be a long ride.
XO
While we're waiting.
10 years ago
6 comments:
Hey Miss Angelina, I know most of my posts on your page are silly but just wanted to say in all seriousness you rock my dear.
I wish everybody had the guts to be as blunt and honest as you, I've always found them admirable traits.
The whole situation sounds tough and I wish you the best in it all, I'd be your cheer leader any day.
I realize I'm your sister's friend, but I've followed your lovely posts on myspace and facebook for years and I find your humor to be one of a kind. Hold onto that now and know that you have as much support as you want from the people around you as well as those not as close.
Oh my darling, I know this isn't the clarity about your ovaries that you've been seeking, but now you know what you need to do and you will. You are powerful and I love you. I will be sending my recently discovered inner-energy your way sister!!!
I can't wait to wrap my arms around your beautiful soul again!
I am really sorry to hear all of this. I don't even really know what to say. But you are in my thoughts and I wish you the best of luck in your effort to create a healthier lifestyle. It's not an easy thing do, but I'm sure you know that. It will pay off in the long run if only to make you feel better overall. I'm sending a mental hug out to you right now. :)
I'm sorry to hear your news. Though we haven't hung out in a good while, I still laugh to myself when I recall some of the good times and many laughs (among other things) we shared. Good luck with your new regimen; it sounds like you're in good hands and well on the way to better health. Take care!
Angelina!! Thanks for sharing. You are doing the right thing!! Believe me, it is not too late to fix this and you are going to feel so much better. Just take it one day at a time, and don't beat yourself up if you fuck up and have a twinkie or something...its about building good habits, not about being perfect. Keep exercising...break a sweat every day! Go ahead and drink that V-8! And stay tuned cuz I'm coming to visit yer ass soon....love...k80
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