Love Note

Dear Hummus,
I love you.
Sincerely,
Angelina

BLOODsugar

Ah, the on-going saga. Had to fast last night 'til this morning, had doc appt. @ 8:30 to get more blood drawn. Then they sent me home for two hours with a fucking icky bottle of sugar water crap to drink. I chugged it and took a nap. I live like 2 minutes (on foot) from doc's office and had to be driven for fear I would fall. I was super out of it and lethargic. Drew more blood, went home where I basically dozed on and off until about 1pm! My sister and ma brought me some good fiber and protein snacks. Feeling better. So over needles in my arm, and I am not squeamish. Feeling drained. Literally. No more damn tests!
On a positive note, got a gym membership which basically means I am going to use the pool, maybe a little cardio, although I'm afraid of the weight room because of all the sweaty dudes.
Thanks for all the support! It is by far the most motivating thing! I love you cheerleaders so damn much.
xo

Mini Melt-down

I did not eat nearly enough today methinks. So many supplements are making my belly a bit urpy, they need to be staggered throughout the day. Need to consume more carbs than I did today. A fine balancing act between deprivation and satiation. Did not pay attention to my body well enough today, had a wee blood sugar crash, recovering with avocado and oat milk. Sheesh.

Day One.

Day one of self-induced super health binge. Ate reasonably healthy today: veggie soup, apple, rice cakes, string cheese (not ready to go cold turkey on the cheese, even though it's really the only dairy I consume), V8 (I know, high sodium, but man, I love that stuff, it's like a junk food veggie smoothie, thinking about making my own), corn tortillas with black beans and corn smothered with lime, tons of water.
I have been swimming every day this week, in the river granted but I do spend some time treading water and hiking to various spots.
I started taking vitamins again, even a multi, which I think is kind of bullshit, but it's apparent I could use the supplementation at the moment. Omega-3 fish capsules, some liver support vitamins, and some other stuff. Starting slow, vitamins en masse sometimes wreak havoc on my stomach.
I am staying in tonight, getting an early night, decent sleep, etc.
Oh yeah, and no more alcohol, maybe some red wine in moderation, the occasional beer.
My left ovary aches a bit.
So far, so good.
:)

Ps. This site was recommended by a PCOS support page: http://www.sparkpeople.com
It's a bit cheezy but you can basically use their tools to outline a nutrition/fitness program and track your progress.

Left Ovary

This one has two dots, one is probably a small partially ruptured cyst. This is the ovary I have had problems with.

Right Ovary

That little black dot is the egg follicle I believe.

Motivation

July 30th, 2009

My lady parts are broken. For the past few years I have been dealing with various menstrual related maladies and was thought to have endometriosis (Google it), saw a naturopath and was put on a diet/supplement regimine and stuff got better. Then, as of late it has been getting worse. I gained a significant amount of weight, started feeling sluggish and depressed and my periods became fewer and excruciating when I did have them.

After a barrage of really invasive and emotional tests these last few weeks (including PAPs. an external AND internal ultrasound, a ridiculous amount of blood tests and various doc appointments) I have been diagnosed with what appears to be PCOS or Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. I don't have the energy to explain it so click this link if you want all the info: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polycystic_ovary_syndrome, which is causing some insulin resistance, crazy mood swings and other scary shit as well as having had an abnormal precancerous PAP, which I'm still in the process of resolving (I realize this is very common but it's never calming to hear).

My doctors have made it apparent that I need to drastically change my daily habits in order to balance my hormones, lose weight and generally feel better, as do most people, but I am at a high risk for developing type 2 diabetes, cancer, heart disease, infertility etc. Yay. I have a hard time motivating myself to get out of my bed sometimes and deal with the realities of my health (although I realize, all things considered, I am mostly in very good health otherwise and am thankful for this).

So there you have it. I am sick of not talking about what is happening with my body, hiding my intense fear, and not knowing how to ask for support. I could give a shit about this being too much info, inappropriate over-sharing, or otherwise. That's why people have blogs. It's a safe forum. I am choosing to take conscious control of my physical and mental well-being in a public way that forces me to be accountable for my healthful progress. Plus, I'm fuckin' freaked out and could use a few cheerleaders.

I plan on starting my new diet/exercise/supplement lifestyle on August 1st as it is one day after the anniversary of my sister's death in 2000, as a tribute to her, as she died at 26 the age I am now.
Bear with me. It's gonna be a long ride.
XO